


Make a Promise, Keep It Until You Die!

by Sougo13



Category: Gintama
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Domestic Violence, F/M, Fluff, GinHiji - Freeform, M/M, Sougo is his sadistic self, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 11:17:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3567626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sougo13/pseuds/Sougo13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matsudaira's daughter, Kuriko, made it her mission to get Hijikata to marry her. But what will our beloved Vice-Commander have to do to get rid of her for once and for all and not to forget her father who wants him dead? Sougo has the solution *smirks* -GinHiji-</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why won't good things happen to me, but bad things continuously do?

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: Before you start hopefully reading this fan fiction let me inform you that this is my first fictional story whatsoever and I'm not the greatest writer but we all know you learn by trying. So if anyone has some ideas on how to improve the storyline or my writing-style just tell me. And for the plot, I have it roughly in my head but I'm open to any suggestions from you guys.  
> (Bhahhaa..I always kind of keep it short, don't know why...)  
> Warning: BOYxBOY, language errors, swearing  
> Disclaimer: I'm don't own Gintama or any of other works I may name in this fic. Sorachi Hideaki, you are awesome *gives you a banana* ;)

It was a perfect day in Edo. The sun was up in the sky all bright and sparkly and children were playing on the streets, a quite unusual sight for the Kabuki district. The peaceful sight would please any citizen, except maybe a certain Demonic Vice-Commander who was currently patrolling the very same town. Him being a workaholic, he actually appreciated working, or to be more precisely, _fighting crime._ Getting the town rid of its criminals with the Jouishishi on top of the list got him the chance to let out all his frustration and anger. But he relished having a match with a certain silver-haired Samurai the most for he was the first to compete with him on the same level of strength, if not further, but not that he would openly admit it. It would be too embarrassing because he and the perm-headed idiot, a nickname he used for the samurai among many other insults, both just hated each other that much. Just remembering the fact that the sugar freak would pop up wherever he went and butt into his work added to his rising frustration. Some might think they had similar beliefs and were very alike, good friend material even, but Hijikata strongly refused to be put on the same intellectual level as the sugar-addict.

_Friends with that good-for-nothing? Dream on._

In his opinion they had nothing in common. That lazy freelancer couldn't be compared to his working self.

_No! Absolutely not! Just watching him eat that sugary shit every single day makes me nauseous! He calls that food? Don't make me laugh!_

But the first time they both crossed swords with each other, Hijikata comprehended that the silver-haired Samurai was strong, very strong. And _different_.

The words, the perm-head had said that time still lingered in Hijikata's mind, not that he wanted to reminisce them.

* * *

 

_Hijikata swung his sword at the perm-head and got him by his shoulder giving him a long cut along the shoulder to the chest. But to his surprise the man still had a nonchalant face on, not displaying any signs of pain or agony. Not even a single curse or twitch._

_It started to bother Hijikata, for he couldn't understand why the Samurai wasn't fighting back nor showing any kind of reactions. Hijikata had heard that the silver-haired guy in front of him used a dirty trick to beat Kondou-san, the reason why he was sparring with the samurai in the first place. But right now, fighting this very same person, he couldn't see any sign of dishonest actions. The guy hadn't even used the sword the Vice-Commander had lent him to fight with him._

_Hijikata couldn't accept as true that, even thought he was aiming to take his life, this guy didn't even worry about it! And just when the samurai had the perfect opportunity to get the Shinsengumi officer he solely broke his sword, not harming the man in black at all._

_The battle was over with the shattering of Hijikata's sword. The silver-haired opponent started to walk away with no further comment than "That's the end of that", holding his now bleeding shoulder with one hand to put pressure on the wound to prevent too much blood loss._

_Hijikata felt insulted for being pitied. His pride didn't accept the other Samurai's behavior and he wasn't going to let him off that easily! No one messed with him and got away with it._

_"You bastard, do you intend to show mercy?", Hijikata questioned standing up straight. He was pissed beyond believe at the silver-haired Samurai for not fighting seriously and not taking the chance to struck him, meaning Hijikata, down when he clearly had it._

_"Mercy?", the natural perm stopped walking, "I don't have such thing. You fight when you want to protect something. It seems like you want to protect the Shinsengumi."_

_"To protect...", Hijikata repeated, then he looked straight at the silver-haired Samurai, "What are you protecting?"_

_The Samurai looked back at Hijikata and smiled._

_"My honor."_

_And hence the samurai disappeared into the busy town, leaving one astonished Hijikata on the abused and broken roof._

_That's the minute Hijikata realized it. He had lost. Lost to a man he acknowledged to be a worthy winner, even if it was hard on his own pride._

* * *

 

"Shoo, shoo! Go away you bloody recollections!", Hijikata muttered while swinging his hand in the air as if trying to shoo nasty insects or mosquitos away. He really didn't want to think about the silver-haired man, much less the fact that he had lost against the sugar freak! Why did the thoughts even come to his mind anyways? It's not like he wanted to keep those memories in mind. But then again, why did the idiot smile at him anyways? It hadn't been a mocking smile, but what had it been then?

_No, no! Stop thinking about that bastard!_

Trying to forget the irritating perm-head, Hijikata's thoughts flew to another person who pissed him off just as much as the perm- _Not again_!.

The thought reminded him about something thus Hijikata looked around.

Just then he noticed the lack of a certain sadistic brat that must have wandered off while he was too occupied with his cogitations, hence leaving the already slightly annoyed raven haired alone to do the patrol.

 _Stupid Sougo, where did you disappear off to all of a sudden? Damn lazy brat, must be sleeping somewhere ignoring me._ He grimaced and lit up a cigarette, continuing walking through the streets.

_Why is it so quiet today? It's too quiet-_

**_*BOOM*_ **

Hijikata's thought was cut off by an explosion right beside him, making him bend down and cough due to the smoke that was now emitting out of the hole that had arisen from the blast.

_I should have known it._

While Hijikata's back had been turned, a boy in the same Shinsengumi uniform had shot with a bazooka at him.

"Goodbye, Vice-Commander. Why don't you suck on some mayonnaise in the afterlife?", the boy aimed again after missing the first time and shot at the already irritated Hijikata.

Hijikata however managed to dodge the second blow just in time as well. After straightening up from being bent down, he looked at his attacker, just to see a too familiar face.

_Trust this guy to do stupid things!_

"SOUGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Damn you Hijikata, missed again.", sighed the approaching voice. "Ahhh..Hijikata-san there you are, I was looking for you", said Okita Sougo, the Captain of the 1st Division of the Shinsengumi, in a bored voice. He was holding his trademark bazooka on his right shoulder that too gave off smoke, verifying that it was just used.

"Ne, Hijikata-san, don't slack off so much at work or you are going to get demoted from your position", he smirked.

"Oiieeeee, you little bastard! Just what do you think you're doing? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?", shouted Hijikata pointing his unsheathed sword at the Captain.

"Oh. No, no. It was just a joke. A joke! I'm always doing it, aren't I?"

"You are always trying to kill me?", Hijikata was slowly losing his temper. "Where the hell were you and where did you get that bazooka anyways?"

"What bazooka?", Sougo asked innocently, after quickly throwing the bazooka behind him, "What are you talking about Hijikata-san, could it be that by eating too much of your dog food your brain withered, making you see things that are not there? Maybe we should bring you to a doctor. But what if it is too late already?", shaking his head, Sougo unsheathed his sword," Then please, as your closest friend, let me end your suffering!" With that, he launched a blow at Hijikata, who just barely dodged it with his own sword. The clashing of swords went on for a few minutes until both of the Shinsengumi members were panting due exhaustion.

"Sougo, stop this nonsense! Have you totally lost it?" Hijikata gasped steadying his posture with his sword. "Take this job seriously and stop with your games!"

"When do I ever not take this job seriously? The only one I **never** take seriously is **you,** Hijikata-san!", smirked Sougo, sheathing his sword and dusting of is uniform of whatever dirt got on it.

"Why you little-", Hijikata muttered gritting his teeth in annoyance.

"Tsk, you are no fun. See ya, Hijikata-san, and if you love me, please drop dead", and with that the sadistic prince walked away and disappeared into an backstreet.

_So much for a peaceful day, tsk._

Hijikata sheathed his sword and lit himself a new cigarette, the old laying on the ground partly used due to the recent battle. Taking a deep breath of the nicotine containing delight, he relaxed his body and continued his patrol for the day.

* * *

 

At around 6pm, the Vice-Commander returned to the Barracks seeing there were no incidents or activities of any of the wanted lawbreakers. So with nothing else to do, he made his way back thinking about the things he could postpone to tomorrow for he really was tired after today's difficulties. Who would have thought what was awaiting him at the Headquarters. Entering the main hallway, Hijikata frowned at the stares he got from his subordinate officers but ignored them. He really wasn't in the frame of mind to waste his energy on questioning the reason for their actions. He would just punish them in the morning for whatever it was.

_Just get to your room and get some rest._

Passing the conference room he noticed something unusual. They had some guests according to the noise that could be heard even though it was quite late to still have someone at the Headquarters, but Hijikata didn't give it much thought until the door suddenly slid open revealing an overreacting Gori- ehhmm...Commander.

"TOUSSSSHI! Where have you been so long?", he cried out dramatically, arms spread-out to welcome his friend.

"Kondou-san, I was still on patrol. Is there something important you wanted to talk about with me?, Hijikata tried to be polite. _Even if it is Kondou-san, I'm really not in the mood to do deal with anything right now…dammit, I need another smoke. Wait until you are in your room. Yeah, your room, where no one will disturb you._

"Well, about that. There is something significant someone would like to tell you-",

Kondou-san couldn't end his sentence because a person, **female** , threw herself at Hijikata, pushing Kondo out of the way in the process.

"Mayora-sama! Mayora 13-sama, it's really you! I'm like totally happy to see you again!", the girl smiled while hugging Hijikata nuzzling her head on his chest, eyes closed.

Hijikata froze.

_No, no, no! This can't be happening! I made sure she would give up on me! I even worked with the Yorozuya bastard and pulled those embarrassing stunts, mayo! Just thinking about them gives me the creeps! So why, god, WHY in the name of mayonnaise is SHE here?_

"K-k-kuriko. Nice to see you again...ha-ha...What are you doing here?" he stuttered forcing a smile which he utterly failed at. It was rather like a gloomy smile, really.

"I like totally missed you! But now that I know you work here with daddy, we will never be apart again! Our love has reunited us! Mayora 13-sama, I want you to marry me!", the girl, now identified as Kuriko, _the_ Matsudaira Kuriko as in **Matsudaira Katakuriko's only daughter** , chirped happily.

Hijikata was horrified. Even dealing with Sougo and his sadistic games would be bliss right now. Anything but this...

"Ahhh-", before he could say anything, the Vice-Commander noticed a dark and evil aura that sent a chill down his spine. Opposite him stood the very ' **God of Destruction** ' sending him a death glare _that was just shouting '_ Stop-touching-her-or-I'll-kill-you-NOW!' He seemed more like a demon than a human, with his eyes gleaming a light red and veins popping out on his forehead.

_HELL NOOOOOOOOO! What did I do to deserve this shitty situation? Why is it my fault that your daughter is so clingy you old man! I'm the one who is suffering!_

Hijikata knew better than to get on Matsudaira's bad side, heck anyone knew that! Police Superintendent Matsudaira Katakuriko had extremely violent tendencies, often seen wielding a pistol, or occasionally heavier weapons. His method of solving problems was to blow everything away using bazookas, tanks etc. And Hijikata certainly didn't want to end up blown away. No, he wanted to live a tad longer, at least longer than Sougo. He had sworn it to himself.

So the only solution Hijikata saw that moment was to faint.

_Yeah, just lose your consciousness and you won't have to answer any questions, well at least not NOW._

***CRASH***

So he did just that and was out cold lying on the floor with a worried Kuriko shaking him lightly, a pissed of Matsudaira and a crying Kondo-san hysterically shouting for Toushi to wake up.

Tomorrow, he would need a lot of strength to deal with this...A LOT.


	2. Yesterday's Enemy is Somehow Today's Enemy as Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata doesn't get a chance to rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here is chapter two, but before you start reading the actual story, read this! I need a beta-reader for I'm afraid my English is a bit rusty. If anyone has time, please contact me. I would really appreciate it. Thank you.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama.

_BEEP, BEEP, BEEP_

_HUH? What's that noise early in the morning? I don't remember setting my alarm clock..._ Sleeping Hijikata opened with great effort his tired sleepy eyes to look for the source of the noise. Eyes open he could see a blur image of the inside of his room, first the ceiling, turning his vision to his right where he assumed the origin of the sound, he recognized a little doll-like figure made if some kaki colored stuff, for he still held a bit if sleepiness in his eyes and due to that was unable to name the material. On the doll was a screen with red numbers he presumed.

Hijikata lifted his upper body and rested his weight on his right arm in order to steady himself. With his left hand he rubbed the rest of the sleepiness out of his eyes. Looking at the device again his eyes widened

_What the fuck!_

Body filling with a rush of adrenaline Hijikata stood up from his laying position and made a move to grab the device, now identified as a _time bomb_ attached to a voodoo-doll _,_ and throw it as far away as possible for he had only 10 seconds before it ran out of time. He hastily grabbed the bomb with his left hand and ran to the window, sliding it open with his free hand and sending the disaster flying into the air. After the few remaining seconds ran out a loud explosion could be heard following by screams and shouts of bypassing people and Shinsengumi members.

Well it was still very early in the morning and you don't get to wake up to an explosion every day, ne?

Hijikata let himself slide down to the ground and heaved a sigh in relief.

_Damn, what a way to wake up._

Hijikata searched his uniforms pockets for his cigarettes as he didn't really had the opportunity to change out of his working clothes yesterday. Finding the package of smokes he lit one and inhaled a deep breath, exhaling a cloud of black smoke into the room.

As the commotion caused by the sudden detonation of the bomb ceased down, Hijikata could hear approaching footsteps. He shifted his gaze to the door to his room when it slid open revealing the culprit to his early-morning disturbance.

"Ne, Hijikata-san, I know you get needy sometimes but could you keep it down a bit? I can't sleep if you are making as much noise as a bomb would do in here as you play your whatever shameful games." The sadistic Prince mumbled rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

"Shut up you idiot! It was a fucking bomb! **Your** fucking bomb!"

"Hijikata-san lying won't hide your dirty pleasurable thoughts, you know. It will make me think of you as an even lower person."

"What the hell? Stop stringing lies, oi! Wait, where are you going!"

"If I stay here any longer, I will get infected by your dirty mind. Die Hijikata."

"SOUGOOOOOOOO!"

After Hijikata got ready and fresh, he made his way to the commander's room to discuss work related matters and further plans concerning an illegal weapon transactions and eventual human smuggle for there were a lot of reports on missing young women. It had been a few weeks that the Shinsengumi was trying to track down the route of all those crimes, but until now they could only assume that the Harasume Pirates might be behind it for they had not enough traces. So until further plans they could only suspect, but were not allowed to take actions for lack of evidence and they were bound by the government. Hijikata knew as well as the other higher ranked officers of the Shinsengumi that important people from the Shogunate were behind this business, serving as an intermediary.

And of course he had to speak about his current dilemma and hopefully find some solution to it, but that would come secondary.

When he arrived at the door to the commander's room, he slid the door open and greeted Kondo-san, seating himself in front of his superior.

"Kondo-san, concerning the case of the illegal weapon trades and the missing young women, I would like for Yamazaki to go undercover at the places where already some women went missing. Maybe we can find some similarities to the choices of victims and track down their next hunting places. Furthermore I have been doing some research about the possible traded weapons. I have found out that the weapons traded are very different from the cases we had until now. They might be more sophisticated than our own firearms." He lit a cigarette and awaited his commander's reply to his proposal.

"I already sent Yamazaki to do some more research on the matter. But Toushi don't you think there is something **you** should be more concerned about? We can handle this for the time being seeing as we are still not as far as to take any actions. You know the old man can be really paranoid when it comes to his daughter and furthermore it would get dangerous for Kuriko if someone sees her with you. You know what I mean, right? So what have you thought about? Ne?"

_Kondo-san, I knew you would understand my situation! And you are even making points that make sense!_

_"_ Yes, about that-" before Hijikata could finish his reply the door slid open and in came..

"Ah, Sougo! There you are, we were just discussing 'Mission Kuriko'. Toushi, I'm sure Sougo will be a great help to you, because it's time for me to go on my daily patrol!"

_Daily patrol my ass! You are just going off to stalk that Gorilla woman! Oi!_

As the commander left the room in a sprint, Hijikata started to sweat.

_Great! Thank you so much Kondo-san for leaving me with this sadistic idiot!_

"What am I hearing Hijikata-san, you have a woman problem _again_? If you think that I will help someone as rotten as you, dream on."

"I don't want your help anyways! Who knows what sadistic crap your brain will come up with." _So much for finding a solution, tch._

"Is this a challenge?"

_Wait! Maybe I could fool him in helping me!_

"What if it is?", Hijikata smirked and leaned back so he was resting on his arms.

Sougo looked still unaffected by the challenging look in Hijikata's eyes.

"Well I could always just manipulate her mind-" _HAH! I'd expect no less from Sougo! His dark soul completely disregards any notion of respect towards women!_ "But that would be no fair to her since it's your fault in the first place, so I should take you out"

_OIIIIIII! Cut the crap!_

"You want me to take you out, ingrate?"

"You know what? Fall off a cliff and die, Hijikata you bastard."

"Get beaten up and die under protection, Okita."

"Go to the next world by gas poisoning, Hijikata."

"Fall off a cliff and die Okita.

"Soak in hot water and boil to death, Hijikata."

"I don't care anymore. Let me kill you Okita."

"Die, Hijikata."

"Die, Okita."

"Die, Okita...oops, messed up...Hijikata."

With gritted teeth Hijikata started slashing at Okita, who dodged every strike nonchalantly.

"Hijikata-san, you will never learn, will you? Is breaking hearts your hobby?" Throwing a small ball at Hijikata, Sougo ran out of the room, a serious look marking his usually nonchalant face.

Hijikata caught the ball just to realize that it was another time bomb, but this time he was too late to escape the blast.

"CURSE YOUUUU!"

_*_ **BOOM***

After the measly morning adventures Hijikata had to face, he prepared to get some of the paperwork done that was already piling up since he didn't do his share yesterday. As he slid open the door to his room he saw two figures he was hoping to not see so soon again, sitting at his table.

"Mayora-sama! I was waiting for you." Kuriko got up from her sitting position to wrap her arms around his arm and rub her cheek against the fabric of his uniform. "Look, Papa wanted to see you as well! Isn't that great that he likes you?"

_Yeah, he likes to KILL ME!_

"Come in already! I made lunch for you! It's your Hijikata special. I made enough for the three of us!" Kuriko dragged the Vice-chief to the table and began serving the food, which seeing, Matsudaira made a twisted face. Well who wouldn't if they have to eat mayonnaise with rice? Okay, except Hijikata and Kuriko.

_Double shit._

While Kuriko ate her meal with delight, Hijikata was unable to swallow any of it for he was glared at by the chief, a glare that most possibly said 'You-are-going-to-suffer-for-this'.

_Triple shit._

"Thank you for the meal! Mayora-sama, I have to leave now, but I will see you tomorrow like totally!" with that she gathered the lunchboxes and left the room, before stopping to look at her father who was still seated. "Papa, hurry up!"

"Kuriko, Papa needs to talk with Toushi for a sec. Why don't you wait in the car until Papa is finished?" She nodded and smiled at Hijikata for a last time before sliding the door shut.

As soon as Kuriko's retreating footsteps couldn't be heard anymore, Hijikata could feel a cold shiver running down his back.

"Toushi, you know I don't have anything against you, but you know as well that I am very protective of my little daughter."

_You are PARANOID!_

"And that's why I don't want her to be with a bastard like you who could die anytime."

_Thank you very much._

"So do something about this mess! I want Kuriko to break up with you no matter what. And Toushi, if you don't do anything I'll cry, I'll cry while I shoot you."

_You crazy old man!_

"I will try what I can, old man." Hijikata covered his face with one hand in frustration.

"Good to know that we understand each other."

And Hijikata was left alone in his room, or wasn't he?

"Oi, oi Oogushi-kun, you got yourself in a pretty shitty situation again, ne? I leave you alone for a moment and you get in some trouble again, tsk. Shall Gin-san make your woe go away?"

_Don't tell me- This voice!_

Sure enough it was the perm-haired Samurai that haunted his mind the day ago, lying lazily in the opposite corner of the room staring at him with dead fish eyes.

"You bastard! How did you get in? What are you even doing here in the first place!" Hijikata stood up, ready to draw his sword.

"Still the same lovely greeting, I see", Gintoki yawned and went back to reading the newest release of JUMP in one hand and steadying his head with the other.


	3. Be as Straight as Your Back is Bent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strawberry milk to the rescue!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama.

"What do you want, Yorozuya?", Hijikata's voice sounded strained due to the recent stress he was suffering. Being a Vice-Commander and a handsome one on top of it (you know it's true ;)) sure wasn't easy. Lightening a cigarette, Hijikata leaned back against his working table, eyes focusing on the new invader of his room. _Why does everyone just barge into my room like it's some kind of public place?_

"OI! It's not like I want to be here anyways! It's all your fault for not keeping your stupid sadist on a leach." came the retort. Gintoki shut his jump and put it inside his Yukata, seeing that he wouldn't get to read it till the end in peace anyways. He stood up from his position in the corner and sat down opposite Hijikata, arms resting on the rather small table with one hand upwards to support his face in it.

"Now would you tell me why I was literally dragged here? Could it have to do with the old geezer you had a talk with just now?", Gintoki couldn't help but smirk at the taken aback face the raven haired man in front of him got when he realized that the Yorozuya had heard them talk. Call him sadist, but heck he enjoyed seeing the Vice-Commander suffering. He waited for a few moments for the man to answer his question. Upon not getting anything but a tired sigh and some smoke clouds, Gintoki scratched his head in frustration. 'This is going to be a long stay.', he himself sighed and thought of a new way to approach the seemingly distressed Vice-Commander. It was not like he could just go home anyways, knowing that the sadistic brat would be there in no time to cut him down.

"Okay, now look Oogushi-kun. You have to tell me what the heck your problem is, or I won't know~", he said in a calm but still mocking way. No one would take his enjoyment of teasing the Mayora, not even Okita.

"What's it to you anyways? Just leave me alone, it would be already a big help.", Hijikata took one last breath of his cigarette before putting it off in the ashtray. He made a move to stand up and leave the room for he had the feeling that the perm head wasn't going to leave any time soon.

_If he isn't leaving, I will have to leave to get at least some rest from the day. Might as well go on patrol. It's already time anyways._

But before he could fully stand up a hand caught his wrist and pulled him back down, making the Shinsengumi Vice-Commander lean over the table.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?", the voice was in a dangerously serious tone. Gintoki looked at Hijikata, his eyes were glinting red with rising anger. He leaned in closer to Hijikata to seem a little bit more intimidating. In the process he didn't realize that his fingers were pressing deep into the other man's wrist. But he wasn't in the state to care if he was overreacting or hurting the raven, right now the only think that mattered to him was to get on with his task and then leave as soon as possible.

"Oi! I should be asking you that! What the fuck! Let go of me!", Hijikata tried to wrestle his wrist out of the other's tight grip but to no avail. It was an iron-grip. Sighing for the nth-time, Hijikata sat back down and stared at the silver-haired samurai.

_What's his problem?_

"Okay, we will start again, seeing as your brain isn't working so well today...What is the problem? The sooner you tell me, the sooner I can go home! Because of you I'm going to miss my soup opera! Now spill it!", Gintoki waited again for the raven haired man to answer.

Hijikata suddenly had the urge to punch him in the jaw. Hard. But he refrained from it, because he knew it wouldn't help his situation anyways even though it would please his mind. In the end he decided to give the perm headed idiot a try. Who knew maybe this time he had a better idea to help in his dilemma.

"It's Kuriko, she's at it again and this time she wants to *cough*marry*cough* me!", the answer came in a low husky mutter. Hijikata rested his head on the table hiding his face. It was too much for him and his pride to ask help from someone like the sugar-addicted samurai.

_Why does it have to be HIM? As if it isn't enough that he is already haunting my thoughts, now he has to see me in this pathetic state..._ "AHAHAHAHAHA...That crazy woman? The one that was tolerant with all the crap we pulled to get her to dislike you? The 'Mayora-sama' -one?", Gintoki laughed so hard he was crying. He could clearly remember what he, Shinpachi and Kagura had done in order to get the girl to be disgusted with the shitty Mayora, but everything backfired. In the end they had to fool her in believing that Hijikata came from a different planet and even wear costumes in the form of mayonnaise bottles.

"Thank you, you asshole. Why the hell are you here anyways? Who told you about me being in a quagmire?", curiosity was getting the better of him. He really wanted to know who the bastard was that made his misery clear to his rival.

_Maybe it was Yamasaki? I will kill him by shoving that badminton racket up his *** to make him die slowly, if it was really him. But on the other side, he doesn't have the guts to do something like that. Or was it Sougo that jerk?_

Oh, if only he had listened to Gintoki in the beginning of his talk, he would have had the answer of his question.

"Listen up! What we need is this! Yes, calcium! If we have enough calcium, we can do anything!

Trouble with tests? Fighting with your parents? Some girl you like? Odiferous nether?

If you have enough calcium, all of these can be solved!"

"The heck did this come from? Are you making a commercial on milk? Is this a freaking Ad to you?", Hijikata punched the table to let the other man know of his anger. Was he making fun of his problem? How dare he?

"Oh, come on. You're worrying to much about it. If you put on a gloomy face, your luck will run away from you, you know. It's the same way with me too. Recently, I've been seeing an ominous old man holding a huge scythe, but I stopped worrying about it."

"I THINK THAT'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT!"

"No need to wet your pants, I have a brilliant idea! Something that little girl can't oppose to!", Gintoki was smiling evilly by the end of his sentence, "So if you don't mind, I need my beauty sleep, it's late anyways. I will tell you the plan tomorrow, just to be sure you won't go all crazy on me in my sleep.", he yawned and mumbled a 'stupid Mayora' before making himself comfortable in a Futon that seemed to have appeared from nowhere and soon was snoring and sound asleep.

"Strange jerk, no worry whatsoever. Lucky bastard!", with this the Vice-Commander too went to his Futon and let his tired body relax, after of course making sure his Futon was as far away as the perm head's. It was strange enough that the bastard chose to stay in his room.

_First all he wanted to do was leave, so why is he STAYING now?_

* * *

 

"KYAAAAAHHHH-", a loud shriek was heard early in the morning making a huge fuss in the Shinsengumi Quarters.

Unfortunately for Hijikata, the sound came right from his door, which awoke him from his strangely nice sleep. He wanted to rest some more and cuddle into his blanket that too was strangely warmer than usual. In a good way.

When the shrieking and screaming still didn't stop, Hijikata opened his eyes to see white hair invading his view and too close to his face for his comfort.

"GAHHHHHH!", a second scream came after a few minutes from the first, the only difference was that it was a male voice instead of a female this time.

With as much strength as he could muster in his half awakened state, Hijikata pushed the body lying on his own away from himself. The warm feeling leaving with the body.

***BAAM***

The other body groaned and rubbed his head that had hit the wall after being pushed hard. The victim of domestic violence opened his eyes to see a horrified blushing Kuriko at the door of the room, a bunch of shocked Shinsengumi members, a weeping Kondo, a smirking Sougo that was playing with a camera and lastly a flushed Hijikata.

'Flushed?- SHIT!', was all Gintoki could think of at that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger :)


	4. There is evil in those with a Natural Perm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki gets angry.

"Hahaha...good morning everyone. Such nice weather we have today, ne?", Gintoki stuttered as he regained his posture after realizing just what he **might** have done in his sleep. 'God, do you hate me or something? Why do you always make me look like the bad guy in the most awkward situations? And with this Mayora? Seriously?', he thought bitterly, slowly standing up to confront his bad luck for the day.

The whole room was silent, too silent for his comfort.

'I didn't even have my strawberry milk yet!', just thinking about his most precious thing in the world made his stomach growl.

The Shinsengumi members, afraid for their own safety, quickly disappeared from the doorway to their Vice-Commander's room. But before they left, they made sure to leave Yamazaki there to eavesdrop on the whole drama that was going to start any minute. They just couldn't miss this.

Kuriko was the first to break the awkward silence, making her way to Hijikata, she put her hands around his arm and rubbed her head against said arm.

"Mayora-sama! Are you alright? Did this pervert do something to you, if so I will be sure to tell my daddy! He will take care of this dirty old pervert! How dare he try to do something to you!", the latter words were spit out rather uncharacteristically harsh. After her little outburst she glared at the 'criminal' as if it would make him disappear.

Gintoki's face darkened thinking about the consequence if he had to face the most feared old man of the Shinsengumi. 'I will be doomed if I make him my enemy. Why did I agree to this stupid job, damn that brat for making me do this crap! He will pay for this!' As Gintoki thought of all the ways he could get back at the sadist, which was pretty hard considering that kid always carried a bazooka and who knows what else with him. His line of thoughts was interrupted by a relatively loud and high-pitched voice.

"Gintoki, how could you do this to Toushi? I trusted you! I never thought you were swinging that way much less thinking of doing _*beep*_ and _*beep*_ to my Toushi!" a panic-stricken Kondo shouted looking at the perm headed Samurai accusingly while indicating a finger at the still shocked Vice-Commander to make a point.

Okay, that was enough. Gintoki wasn't going to listen to any more accusations, he had his pride too, damn it!

"Okay, shut up you all! What the hell? Is this how you tax robbers always do your work? By just accusing people of things that aren't even true? What do you even know, oi? I was just-", sadly before Gintoki could finish his sentence to prove his innocence, a voice interrupted him.

"Danna is right in his interjection. He wasn't doing anything wrong since it's just normal for two lovers to sleep together, am I right?", Sougo smiled, or better said smirked evilly at both Hijikata and Gintoki, before grabbing inside his pant’s pocket to fish out some pictures," Here are some pictures of both sleeping very comfortably together. I think they look rather cute, even though I would have never guessed Hijikata-san to be the **girl** in this relationship.", a chuckle escaped his lips.

Both Hijikata and Gintoki took a look at the pictures and froze.

_How did this happen and why does Sougo have these pictures? No, no, no….this must be a bad dream. OI! I would have noticed if someone would be…..lying on…me….,_ just at the thought a blush spread on Hijikata's face.

"WHAT!", both Kondo and Kuriko shouted in unison and shortly after fainted for the shock was too much for the two to handle. Man, the day really started bad.

"You owe me for this, Danna. Next time I'm not going to get you out if you are stuck with something. If I were you, I would use this time to think of some excuse which will explain your indecent behavior. Well, good luck. I'm going to put these shots on my YouTube account. Gotta' keep my viewers entertained. See ya!", with this he walked out of the room, nonchalantly as if nothing unusual had happened in the last hour. Well that's a sadist for you, never ceases to surprise you.

"What the -! Save me? You bloody made everything worst you shitty brat!", Gintoki shouted after recovering from the shock of seeing the pictures. But to his great displeasure the subject of his assault and source of problems was long gone till then.

Rubbing his head to cool down and get a grip on his temper, he turned to the raven haired Shinsengumi officer.

"Hey, you still alive or did the mayonnaise finally reached your brain and killed you?", he tried to sound as unaffected of the recent event as possible to avoid any more uncomfortable moments.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I am still alive. And just to let you know, if I were you I would make a run for the exit as I'm going to slice you in tiny little bits before Kondo-san and Kuriko wake up. That will solve this **misunderstanding** without any more discussions.", Hijikata's voice was very low and sharp. His head was down and hidden behind his bangs, shadowing his facial expressions.

_Damn it, I can't look him in the face no less in the eyes right now! Better end this before it gets any worst. I won't be able to take it if it gets any more confusing than it already has. You stupid idiot, why did you have to sleep **on** me…._

With one strong push of the hands, Hijikata stood up and readied himself to fight the irritating bastard that made his life even more complicating than it already was. Being the Vice-Commander and the only sane person in the Shinsengumi, he had a lot of work and responsibility to handle.

As Hijikata focused on his surrounding, he noticed that his target was already in the process of running away.

_You lousy coward! Come here and take it like a man!_

Indeed, Gintoki took the chance of the raven haired’s spaced out moment to make a run for his life, for he as so many others knew that a pissed of Hijikata was bad news.

Gintoki ran along the hallway of the Headquarters, searching for the exit. But in his panicked stage, he lost his way just to find himself into an empty room.

'Okay, if there isn't any other way to get out of here alive, I will have to take the risk.', he quickly hid at one side of the sliding door, awaiting the hot tempered man to come after him. Sure enough, said man bolt in not noticing that Gintoki was now behind him. In a swift move the silver haired Samurai closed the sliding door with a loud thud.

Surprised by the sound, Hijikata quickly turned around to look for the source of the noise just to be pushed down by another body. Before he could make any movements to free himself, the person above got a hold on both his wrists, holding them down successfully and thus making the officer defenseless.

Looking up to see his attacker's face, Hijikata went pale.

_Shit!_

"Get off me, you bastard!", he struggled to free himself, but the other man's grip didn't falter.

"Stop fighting already, you idiot! Why can't you talk like a normal person, huh? Let me explain everything!", the voice had anger and tiredness in it, but also a hint of pain, which Hijikata didn't notice.

"There is nothing to talk about, you pervert! Now let go of me or I will seriously kill you!", even though Hijikata managed to get enough energy to shout at the man that was pinning him down, he couldn't master enough to look him in the face hence he looked to his side.

"Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you! Why would I want to jump you of all people? You are a chain-smoking, uptight, hot tempered mayo-freak!"

"Well you are no better, fucking lazy, perm-headed, perverted sugar-freak! And who would want you anyways! You must have it hard to get laid at all, huh?", came the response.

"Really? You think so?", all of a sudden Gintoki's expression changed to something Hijikata couldn't quite make out from the corner of his eyes.

_What the hell is he thinking?_

Before Hijikata could guess the air around the other Samurai, he felt hot air breathe at his ear causing him to shudder slightly.

"You know, since I'm already being accused of being a pervert, why don't I show you what a real pervert is capable of doing?", the voice was hot and husky, making Hijikata shiver at the touch of the hot air on his ears.

_This is bad, so so bad!_


	5. Don't Lose at Anything You Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki takes it too far and Hijikata remembers.

Saying Gintoki was shocked was an understatement. He was terrified. Terrified by his own actions. How in the name of strawberry milk did he end up in this position, which was currently on top of a very confused Vice-Commander with his lips just an inch away of said poor man, anyways? Sure all the accusations of being an old pervert got him riled up, but instead of just beating the hell out of the Mayora or any other manly and normal thing to do, he chose to act like a total idiot to prove his point?

'Oi, what the hell is this supposed to prove? Wasn't I going to show him that everything that happened today was just an accident! Maybe the lack of sugar got the better of me and led me to doing something as ridiculous as this, whatever it is supposed to be anyways.'

There were possibly no words to describe what was going through Gintoki's head that precise moment that he said those unimaginably stupid words. Oh God, did he regret ever listening to the sadist - the things you do to get your daily fit of parfait…

'I suddenly feel kinda cheap' he thought, still struggling with what to do next. What felt like hours of thinking in reality were only mere seconds, when he finally came to the outcome that he couldn't moderately get out of the situation without humiliating himself.

'If I have to go down, I will take you down with me' as he finished his thought, he dived in and 'attacked' the other's neck. He slowed down a bit, the blood rush decreasing as he tried to calm down to not further hurt his pride. If he was gonna do this, he at least wanted to show that he was good at whatever he did. It didn't really help him rebuild his lost dignity but shut up!

'Picture him as a girl!' Gintoki thought to himself to make it easier to be this intimate with the other.

As he trailed slow short kisses along the raven haired man, he heard the other squirm underneath him.

'Hah! That's what you get for underestimating me, let's see how much you can take without making any noise!-huh, ehh, where did this come from?', as he increased the pressure of each kiss, Gintoki realized just how smooth the Vice-Commanders neck was. 'This kinda feels nice.' Just to see how soft the flesh was he bit down and lightly sucked the area, just to comprehend an appearing red mark and a husky sound coming from the owner of the bite mark. Hearing the alluring noise surprised Gintoki and almost caught him off guard. Blood rushed to his head making him dizzy, and soon a desire to hear more filled his chest. Lifting his head, the samurai took a look at his current 'victim' and his eyes widened.

Hijikata had his eyes half open, his cheeks a light pink and lips slightly parted. 'What the hell is with this expression?! Oi, don't make such a vulnerable face!' and with this he once again attacked the man, this time capturing the others lips.

Hijikata's eyes shot open at the sudden action. Taken by the surprise he didn't have the time to close his mouth resulting in Gintoki French-kissing him. The raven haired tried to struggle out of the kiss but Gintoki only pressed harder down on his lips. As the kiss intensified, a soft moan escaped the Vice-Commander. Proud of his accomplishment and slowly feeling the need of fresh oxygen, the silver haired samurai released the other's lips to take a much needed breath as well. As they stared into each other's faces, thousands of emotions and thoughts flowed through their heads. In Hijikata's case they mainly consisted of curses and different ways of killing the perverted silver haired freak, whereas Gintoki’s were more complicated. He didn't know what he was feeling that moment, never having kissed another person of the same gender, at least not in a sober state. And here he was, kissing a Shinsengumi dog and wanting to keep going. 'Well, his skin is smooth enough to be that of a girl, and the soft blush on his pale skin does kinda look nice- wait! Wrong direction! I'm not gay damn it. This ain't a yaoi manga, oi! Stop it right now! Ain't nobody got time for that, oi-' his train of thoughts were interrupted with a groan of the other man.

"Will you get off me now, you pervert headed idiot?! Or do you want me to skin you alive?" Hijikata spat harshly, still a light pink adoring his cheeks.

Gintoki looked down at the officer and smirked slyly, he wasn't going to let this opportunity pass by.

"Oi, oi, are you blushing Hijikata-kun? Did you like Gin-san's kiss so much? But it really does suit you."

"Shut up you shameless bastard! Don't you have any pride? Get off me, now!"

Hijikata tried to free his wrists again, but to no avail. _Since when did he get this strong, or did I get weaker? Shit, I will have to do some muscle training starting today._ He hissed at the man lying above him, glaring daggers as if it was going to help his situation. But the smirk developed into a shit-eating grin as Gintoki closed in on Hijikata again until their noses touched.

"Judging from that really adorable blush on your cheeks I don't see why I should be worrying about my pride, Oogushi-kun."

Red eyes locked with ice blue ones. The white demon couldn't make out how he became so daring all of a sudden, forgetting the awkwardness as if he was just enjoying teasing his girlfriend.

'Girlfriend? Seriously? What made you have such incredulous thoughts, Gin-san? I'm in serious need of sugar…' Gintoki focused again on the man he was spending way too much time with today.

"Are you fucking gay?! The heck are you sputtering about! GET. OFF!" Hijikata gritted his teeth, not fearing that they might break from the pressure he was putting into his scowl. The silver haired samurai was going too far. Not to mention, the latest events were giving a warm uneasy feeling, which he didn't even begin to understand.

_Fucking sugar freak, it's all your fault!_

"Make me, _Toushirou-san._ "

The raven's breath stopped, his eyes reducing to points.

_Bring me with you as well. I want to stay by your side, Toushirou-san._

_Toushirou-san, Toushirou-san…_

With a new found strength, Hijikata released his right wrist and punched Gintoki straight in the face, making the other fly back and off of him. He slowly stood up, head held low and his hair cowering any expression he might be holding. Gintoki trying to come down from the initial shock of getting punched, looked up at the now standing Vice-Commander.

"Don't you dare call me that again, you bastard! I don't need help from someone like you that only cares about himself, so don't show your face here again! Now, get out of here!" Hijikata's voice was dangerously low that even Gintoki knew he shouldn't risk anymore teasing. He stood up and left without a second glance, deciding that leaving now was the only chance he was getting to escape the situation altogether.

As soon as the silver haired man was gone far enough, Hijikata collapsed on his knees, hands supporting his upper body. Sweat was running down his face and neck, showing just how tired he was.

_Mitsuba…_

* * *

 

Flashback

' _Bring me with you as well. I want to stay by your side, Toushirou-san.' The young woman said. The moon shining down on her pale skin and light brown hair. She was sitting on the porch of the dojo her little brother and the man in front of her were training. Said man had his back to her, not looking at her, as she was pleading to him to take her with him, to not leave her alone._

' _I don't care. What happens to you is none of my concern.' He answered without sparing even one single glance at the young woman and walked away as if nothing happened._

* * *

 

_It's been a while, since I had these flashbacks. And here I thought I could control it._

A sad smile graced the vice-commander's face as he lied down on his back. His eyes starting to sting at the memory. The memory of the woman he was never going to see again. He closed his eyes to calm down not realizing when he fell asleep.

Gintoki held his left cheek as he was wandering the streets in search of something to lighten his mood. 'Why did the Mayora suddenly react like this? I just called him by his name, so why was he acting as if I had taken away his most precious thing? Stupid Shinsengumi dogs with their pms-ing Vice-Commander. '

Gintoki stopped at his favorite Dango shop and ordered a normal serving since he couldn't afford anything bigger, not that he was going to pay for the normal serving either. It was just easier to get away with. As he waited for his belated breakfast, he was joined by another presence he knew too well for his own comfort.

"Hello Danna, what a coincidence meeting you here. Are you not supposed to be at Hijikata-san's side, since you were so lovey-dovey this morning? Don't tell me he threw you out for being too forceful yesterday night?", a snicker escaped the famous prince of all sadists. He ordered himself a serving of the sweet as well and looked at the white haired samurai amused. More like creepily evil, but that's beside the point.

"You know, this is all your fault! Because of you I'm in this situation, oi! Look at Gin-san's handsome face, that bastard gave me a bloody bruise! What the heck is wrong with that Vice-Commander of yours anyways? Suddenly hitting me like that…" Gintoki rubbed his left cheek, trying to ease the pain.

"He did? What exactly did you do for him to do so, since he's not one to act like that? Sure he gets angry very easily but not to the point of losing it." Sougo said interested, taking a bite of the Dango that finally arrived.

"Huh, you sure know a lot about him. I didn't know you are the caring type, since you always try to kill him." Gintoki too started enjoying the sweet delight, already feeling his strength regain.

"Of course I know a lot about him. You know the saying, keep your friends close but your enemies closer. But that doesn't matter right now. Spit out the details Danna, or I will have to make you.", a shockingly calm smile graced the sadist's lips.

'He's dangerous!' ran through Gintoki's mind.

"Oh, well...haha…you know, this and that. Nothing special-"

"Dan-na."

"Okay, OKAY! I kissed him and after that he went all 'Get-out-now' quite angrily."

"That can't be all. It's not like it's his first time anyways" Okita answered in a quite bored and nonchalant voice.

'Huh? What the-'

"What do you mean not his first time? Is he g-", Gintoki asked surprised.

"You are swaying from the main question here Boss."

'I will have to ask later then...'

"Well I teased him a little…you know, called him by his first name and-"

"That's the reason for his outburst."

"-eh, what? It's not like nobody ever called him by that." At this point he was seriously confused by the actions of the vice commander. Why would he be so annoyed by such an insignificant thing like being called by his first name? 'It's quite a nice name, so why? Eh? Ehhhh? No, no, no, I wasn't complimenting him or something! Stop putting these shojo manga thoughts into my head, oi!'

"Actually, there was only one person who called him by his first name. Not even Kondo-san used his first name."

'Right, I remember the Gorilla calling him always Toushi.'

"That person was my sister." A sad smile graced the features of the Shinsengumi Captain. Gintoki, noticing the changed atmosphere, kept for once silent. After a while, he continued.

"I didn't know that."

"Well, now that you know what went wrong, you better hurry up to fix it." The sad feeling was gone in a second, replaced by the same indifference as always.

'He's pretending as if it doesn't bother him much, however deep inside him, he still can't handle the loss of her. Just like that guy.' The lazy samurai's thoughts drifted once again to the raven haired man. After a moment he realized what the boy next to him had said.

'Fix it? Is he crazy?!'

"Oi, oi Okita-kun, what do you mean, fix it? I ain't going near that asshole again. I'm done with this job." He rubbed his head in annoyance.

"Is that so? Well, if it's like that, you will be useless to me and I will have to cut you down. That's going to be fun, although I really did like you Danna." With that the young Captain stood up and grabbed his sword.

'He can't be serious! What the hell is wrong with this kid!' Gintoki stood up as well and frankly waved his hands in front himself.

"Okita-kun, you can't be serious, right? You like Gin-san, don't you? I'm your friend, oi!"

"Danna, business is business. And you already took some of your payment in advance."

"That wasn't me! It was Shinpachi and Kagura!"

"They belong to you, don't they? Now either fix it or die, please."

'Shit, I don't have any other real choice, do I? Seriously, why is he so persistent about this stupid job? It's not really any of his concern, so why go through all the trouble, or rather make me go through all this?!'

"Calm down Souchirou-kun, I was just kidding. I was just here to have a little snack…I will be heading back right away ha, ha." Gintoki chuckled with a forced smile.

"Good, see ya later then Danna. By the way, it's Sougo and thanks for the treat!" With that the Captain was gone in a flash.

"Eh, wha-? OI! COME BACK HERE! I AM NOT PAYING FOR YO-"

"Gin-san, here is your bill. Two servings, pay up." The owner of the shop said as he held up a piece of paper. Gintoki looked back at the old man, his face twitching, and ran as if his life was depending on it.

"HEY, COME BACK YOU USELESS GOOD-FOR-NOTHING!"

* * *

 

Back at the Barracks

Hijikata woke up after 30 minutes of sleep. He didn't even notice that he had dosed off on the floor. Too many things were running through his head. The nap however helped him to sort his confused feelings a bit.

Which led him to remember the event from a while ago. God, why had he let the Yorozuya go this far. Letting him kiss his neck, lips and even moaning was unacceptable. He felt so ashamed of losing his control like that.

_Damn it, why did I let myself go like this! It's not like it's the first time someone forced themselves on me. I was always able to handle it so why did I get so weak when this bastard did nothing different? And calling me by my first name despite the fact that we hate each other. Was all of it to tease me? But maybe I went too far at the end, it's not like he knew…_

'" ** _Oi, oi, are you blushing Hijikata-kun? Did you like Gin-san's kiss so much? But it really suits you."_**

 _Then again, I hope he dies a painful death! That cocky insolate idiot!_ Hijikata clenched his fist in anger.

"Seeing your angry face, I can't help but think, the one you're thinking about is good ol' me, Hijikata-kun." Hijikata looked up at the door, and fair enough, there stood the reason for his coming headache.

"You are back. Why? I told you to leave, so leave. I can handle myself just fine." He stood up to exit the room, not wanting to stay near the other samurai any longer. He was giving him uncomfortable feelings.

As he was about to pass Gintoki, said man stopped him by blocking the door with his arm.

"What the hell do you want? Here to prove another point of yours?"

"I'm sorry."

_What? Did I hear correct?_

"What did you say?" Hijikata watched the other samurai carefully.

"I'm sorry. I'm not going to repeat myself so you better listen. I didn't know that about your name, that only 'she' ever called you this way. I didn't mean to bring up the past. So stop with your hostile attitude, and let me do my job." Gintoki didn't glance at Hijikata as he said each word, keeping his face straight.

"Why do you want to do this so badly, hhuh?" Of course, Hijikata would be suspicious. So while he had the chance, he would try to get some answers.

"I promised my client to finish the job," 'and I don't want to die just yet', Gintoki added in his mind.

"And who is this client of yours?" Seriously, who would come up with something as stupid as this?

"That's classified."

"Huh." so much for getting some answers…

"Well if this is all, I would like to go now so make way."

Gintoki removed his arm and Hijikata went past him.

"You know, if you run into a wall and pretend it doesn't exist, you'll never make any progress. The wall will never change. So you're the one who has to change." Hijikata stopped in his track.

_What the hell is that supposed to mean?_

"What is your point, Yorozuya?" Both men stood with their backs to each other not turning to look at the other.

"The past is the past. You need to move on or you will be stuck in it forever."

"Che." With this the Vice-Commander left to his own room. Trying to not think about the said words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not good with intimate scenes so forgive me if this was kinda lame....please leave some comments! :)


	6. Idiots lead idiots!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata talks to an old "friend" and comes to an agreement with Gintoki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Hello”  
> Is it me you’re looking for?  
> I can see it in your eyes  
> I haven't updated in a while  
> I just want you to know  
> I love you
> 
> Author’s note: I sincerely apologize for not updating sooner, but I had a lot of homework and midterms were not making life easier. Well anyways here is a new chapter and I hope I didn’t lose too many readers since it’s for them that I’m writing this story (and a little bit for my own entertainment*insert evil laugh*).
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or its character. Furthermore I confess to maybe use some quotes of other anime shows as well, which I don’t own as well. *insert sad face*

Hijikata found himself in his private quarters again, this time all alone. This gave the man the chance to think about all the occurrences of the past day. How in the world did everything turn out like it had? He sat down on the porch leading to the inner gardens of the Shinsengumi Headquarters, leaning on the wall to support his upper body. He took out his pack of cigarettes and lighter and lit up a new smoke. The nicotine always helped him to concentrate better. Sure it was bad for his health, but well he’s still alive and kicking so who cares!

Hijikata took a deep drag and blew the smoke out in the form of a big cloud. He had to think of something to get rid of the old man’s daughter if he still wanted to continue living. But what was he supposed to do? He already tried it once.

Performance of a wimp – didn’t work.

Obsession with Mayonnaise – backfired.

Act like a perv – not even worth mentioning….

The only thing that had worked in the end was to pretend to be some kind of Mayo Prince and lie to her about having to leave the planet due to some shit he had to do, which was total nonsense, but it worked.

Sadly, this option was no longer affective since Kuriko was already up-to-date on the fact, that he’s the Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi and not some farfetched prince. Now there is also the dilemma of getting rid of the Yorozuya, and as fast as possible, thank you very much.

_That nuisance causes more trouble than he can handle! How can that imbecile imagine, even consider his plan to work?! Who in their right mind would believe that he and I – that we were in that kind of relationship!!! That isn’t working!_

_ ‘Well, actually that’s not really the truth now, is it? According to their reaction, I’m quite positive that they were in fact believing the whole act...’ _

_Who was that?!_

_ ‘I’m the little voice in your mind you can’t ignore...’ _

_WHAT THE HELL!! There shouldn’t be any other voice than my own! OI, get out of my head!_

_ ‘Oh, please! You know I’m right. And just so you know, I found that kiss rather convincing *snicker*’ _

_SHUT UP!_

_ ‘Just listen for a minute. Try to think about it for real, and with that I mean, weigh the PROS and cons both. Obviously there are not many things you have left up your sleeve to get rid of your fian-‘ _

_She’s not my fiancé!_

_ ‘Shut up and let me finish talking! And she is set to marry you, come what may, so may as well call her your fiancé. So I was saying, you don’t have many choices here buddy. And dear Gin-san is-‘ _

_Since when did he become “dear Gin-san” you bastard?! Mind telling me???_

_ ‘Okay, well since the Yorozuya is offering a rather decent plan-‘ _

_Which isn’t even his to begin with! He’s just doing what someone else told him to do!! OI!_

_ ‘Anyways, why not consider it? What is there left to lose anymore? You already slept with the guy and were caught in the act. You even shared a kiss, relatively passionate at that if I might add.’ _

_I didn’t sleep with that guy! He was sleeping on ME and without my permission! And I didn’t want to kiss him either! Stop twisting what happened to fit your own twisted fantasies! I will kick you out of my head and then proceed to beat the shit out of you, or better make you commit suicide!_

_ ‘Cool down. As far as I see it, you don’t like men in that way, so it shouldn’t be a problem for you. It’s just an act. Just set some ground rules with him and if you’re lucky, this whole thing will end faster than you can say mayonnaise!’ _

_Well, since I clearly don’t have much of a choice, I will try, TRY. If it doesn’t work, I will kill that bastard and then see what to do with Kuriko…_

_ ‘Don’t worry, if someone can help you, it’s Sakata-shi.’ _

_HUH? What did you just call him? Say, who exactly are you? You seem strangely familiar…_

_ ‘It’s me, Tousshi.’ _

_YOU! YOU ARE STILL HERE??? But I got rid of you after this ridiculous competition! Get out this instance! And since when did YOU start giving advice? You can’t even handle your own pathetic ass! And what’s with this manly voice, oi?_

_ ‘Oh, yeah. I was imitating this guy from that new drama! He’s so cool! So I copied some of the stuff he did in the show! You should watch it too. And just so you know, we are inseparable. I can’t get out of this body. So sorry, no can do. Good luck!’ _

_OI, wait! Oiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!_

With that the little voice, now known as Tousshi, the otaku spirit from the cursed sword, went quiet.

Hijikata felt a nerve popping on his forehead. How dare that little shit otaku give HIM, the Vice-Commander, advice on this matter! In addition how could HE, the Vice-Commander, be so desperate to in fact consider his advice?! Something was wrong with the world…He blamed it all on the author, since it was all his fault. And here went the fourth wall…

He stood up and crushed his finished cigarette in the ashtray. Mind set on exploring the idea given by the other occupant of his body.

_Now where did the stupid perm head run off to? He’s never in arms reach when you really need him, but otherwise always there to annoy you._

With that thought in mind, Hijikata started to walk out of his room in search of a certain sugar addict. He could ponder about the otaku inhabiting his body later. Maybe ask Sougo to perform some of his voodoo magic – sweat dropped alongside his temple – or NOT.

As he rounded the corner of the hallway, he bumped into something, making him fall. He landed quite hard on his back and a second later, another weight crashed on top of him.

“Ouch, damn it! Watch it, will ya!” grunted the raven trying to reach his head with his hand with the intention of nursing his throbbing head. But his objective was left unfulfilled for he felt his hands stuck and inflexible.

“Oi oi, look who’s talking! You walked into me...” growled none other than the man himself that Hijikata was looking for. The perm-headed samurai tried to stand up, supporting his upper body weight on his arms, giving him a view of the Vice-Commander below him. Said man had a nasty growl as usual on his face before they both realized in what kind of compromising pose they were in.

“GET OFF ME RIGHT NOW!” Hijikata started to trash, a blush feeling already on its way to his cheeks due to the close proximity between them. He moved in the hope of getting the other man off him before someone - such as Sougo - saw them and misunderstood the situation again.

“I won’t” came the reply. Gintoki looked rather nonchalant all of a sudden, not budging from his position, his dead fish eyes set on the man beneath him. ‘ _If I stay like this, at least he won’t be able to hit me again. Even though this whole situation is uncomfortable for me as well, it’s worse for this bastard, ha! Who said, I can’t come up with good ideas!’_ Gintoki thought, I victory smile appearing on his face for a second before it disappeared and was replaced by his indifferent expression.

“Are you stupid?! Get off me, before someone sees us, you imbecile!” Hijikata again tried to move, slowly trying to get his hands out from under the other samurai. Just as he got them freed, they were seized by two hands and pushed to the ground.

“Nope. I won’t. You are just going to start hitting me without any reason, like always. I’m not your fucking punch bag so cool down first.”

Gintoki’s expression changed into a serious one with a hint of something Hijikata couldn’t describe, being similar to their last encounter.

“Don’t look at me like that.” The raven haired murmured, his head turned to the side, avoiding the other’s eyes.

“Look how? How am I looking?” asked the other, a little surprised by the change of the Vice-Commanders behavior.

“It’s the same look you gave me last time! When you- when you bastard _kissed_ me.” The words were spit out with as much contempt as Hijikata could muster up in his circumstances.

_SHIT! Don’t tell me it’s going to repeat itself again!! Fuck this!_

“I can’t believe I decided to go with your plan” Hijikata muffled under his breath.

“What was that? I didn’t hear you clearly there Oogushi-kun. Care to repeat that?” I smirk appeared slowly on the white haired samurai’s face as he watched the Vice-Commander in amusement.

“Stop calling me that, and you heard me the first time, you dumbass! But don’t worry, that mistake was corrected by your actions right now. My mindless judgment turned out to be stupid to begin with. How could I ever think there is a possibility that you could be useful for something?” He turned his head and looked straight into the others eyes, steel blue eyes clashing with blood red ones. There was a new found confidence and hatred in his voice, letting him disregard his distress of being underneath the perm-headed bastard. The redness in his face now a sign of anger.

“Oi, oi why do you always have to turn hostile around me? Is this problem of yours with me that massive? What _is_ your problem with me anyways that you can’t work with me for once? It never stopped you from fighting together with me before! And even I can agree – despite the fact I don’t want to- that we work very effective as a team, so what is your problem _now_? Why do you have to be so unreasonable and behave like a spoiled stubborn brat, for crying out loud?!” Gintoki was starting to lose his already short patience. Was he that detestable to the Vice-Commander that said man didn’t want to have to do anything with him? And why did he care so much about the other’s feelings? Something was terribly wrong with him, dreadfully intolerably wrong.

“That’s none of your business! Now. Get. Off. Me!” Hijikata growled.

_Why can’t I use my strength against him? If it were anyone else, they’d be knock unconscious with their faces bruised and bones broken. I managed to solve this kind of approaches in the past so easily, so why isn’t my body listening to me when it comes to the Yorozuya?!_

Hijikata was getting progressively irritated by everything, his body, the otaku inside his head, the perm headed bastard, Sougo, and so one. Everyone was annoying him these days.

_What is it, annoy-Hijikata-to-win-a-price day? What kind of joke is this?!_

“You know, we could resolve this way faster if you would just comply with me for once.” Gintoki was getting equally irritated at the Mayoras attitude. ‘Is he playing hard to get or what?!’ was all that came to his mind.

“It’s not as easy for me as it might be for you, whereas you can do whatever you want! Must be nice to be so carefree!”

“I have to work too, you know! Gin-san works very hard every day to earn money, unlike some government dogs here.” Gintoki sneered in protest.

“The HELL you talking about! I work my ass off every day to keep this city safe but no one even thinks about thanking us, in the contrary everyone despises us. And then there’s you. The good-for-nothing, you don’t work much and the few bills you do earn you spend on either booze or gambling, not caring about paying off your debts. And after all this, you still are well appreciated by everyone! WHY? As if this wasn’t enough, you don’t train shit and still have a good body and are stronger than me, not to mention the fact that I train every single god damn day! And you tell me to calm the fuck down?!” Hijikata’s breathing was rigid what with all the pent up temper let out now.

Gintoki regarded the man in astonishment as he realized what was holding him back to work with him. He wouldn’t have thought it to be possible “…Hijikata-kun, are you by any chance _envious_ of me?” The comprehension warming up his insides in a strange way.

“..Shut up.” Hijikata sounded pissed off. Oh, how he wished he didn’t blubber out what was inside his head, now the sugar freak wouldn’t let him hear the end of it. How come the Yorozuya managed to destroy his defenses without even doing anything provocative enough!

“I can’t believe you are envious of _me_! The great demonic Vice-Commander is envious of good old Gin-san! How adorable!” Gintoki chuckled a smile appearing on his face that was too bright to bear.

“But seriously, THIS is why you won’t do it? Are you kidding me? Come on, I sometimes envy your perfect straight hair, how it’s so sparkly and soft to the touch! But do I complain about it? Of course not, well at least not all the time. But that’s not the point here. Look, there is nothing for you to be envious about, everyone is superior in their own way. So just ignore it and fucking work with me here.“ He felt like talking to a little kid that was angry upon not getting what he wanted.

“..Fine. BUT my rules: no touching, kissing or talking, understood?!” It was more of a statement than a question and nowhere near negotiable.

Gintoki’s eyebrow and lips were twitching in an irritated manner. ‘This guy has some serious issues’

“Oi, oi Hijikata-kun~ those are the essentials to a relationship! How are you going to fake being my boyfriend if you deny any contact and communication whatsoever?! This is not how it’s supposed to be!” Was he whining now? Gintoki slapped himself mentally.

“DAMN IT! FINE! But keep the shit to a minimal! Starting with, I don’t know, GETTING OFF ME!”

Well, they were negotiating, that means improvement! Hijikata still had the bite in his words though, but the urge to kill cooled down immensely.

“Promise you won’t hit me!”

“Yeah whatever, now MOVE.”

Gintoki regarded the man closely after finally removing himself from atop of the Mayora, coming to a standing position. Hijikata was up in a matter of milliseconds, never having been happier to be standing in his life before.

“Okay, let’s set the rules and so on over at my house, it’s much quieter and less nosy.”

“Yeah, yeah. “ Hijikata ignored the other, not really thinking of responding with something helpful. The bastard should break his little head over this not Hijikata.

“But before that, we need to get your _father’s_ blessings~” Gintoki said in a sing-song voice.

“Huh?...wait, WHAT?!” The cigarette Hijikata was going to light up slipped from him lips and fell to the ground. “You totally lost it or what?” Did the sugar finally bring him to crazy land or what?

“Oh come down. We need to make it look real, so since Gori-san acts as if you were his son, we need him to do his part. So suck it up and let’s tell him. It’s a good practice for upcoming circumstances.” Gintoki stated in a matter of fact manner, his hands lifted in the air while shrugging his shoulders.

“I hate you so much.” Hijikata snarled.

“Love you too, honey~” And a fist connected to Gintoki’s face, but in his defense, it was well deserved.

 

Twenty minutes and a lot of bickering and punching later, both samurai found themselves in front of the Chief’s private quarters. After knocking they entered, finding Kondou sitting by the table looking over some suspicious pictures of a certain Shimura woman.

“Hello Kondou-san, may we come in? There is something _we_ want to tell you..”

_God, this is humiliating! Why don’t you kill me of already? And yeah, I mean you, writer!_

“Oh Toushi, and _Gintoki,_ come in.” The latter’s name coming out a bit strained.

As both of them took a seat opposite of the Commander, Gintoki made it a point to sit extra close to the Mayora to get across the message they were going to deliver to the hairy man.

“Well, you see…emm…about the whole thing about the Yorozuya and me…as in-“

“What the stuttering mess here is trying to say is: We are going out. You know, as in lovers.”

Gintoki explained deadpanned while Hijikata again tried to fight down a blush creeping up his cheek s.

_SO FUCKING EMBARRASSING!_

“HUUUUHHHH! TOUSHI! Why didn’t you tell me!!”

“You see Kondou-san, I couldn’t just tell you because there is still this regulation 46 in the Kyokuchuu Hatto that states: ‘Yorozuya is to be hated, but treat Shinpachi well’. As such I didn’t want to break the rules.” Hijikata explained to his best efforts trying keep his voice straight this time. He had to make this whole story believable and so as to fend off any difficulties in the future.

“God Toushi, I never knew-“ tears welled up in the Commander’s eyes as he tried to keep his voice manly and not break down in a mess of snot and weeping “- if you had just told me that you treasured Gintoki so much I would have immediately gotten rid of this wall that keeps you from the one you love!” Hijikata handed the man some tissues to help cover the gross display.

“Ewww...” Gintoki made a face in disgust. Gorilla were shit ugly when they cried. Unfortunately for him, his _lover_ as of now didn’t appreciate his behavior and stabbed him in the ribs with his elbow.

“Kondou-san, it’s okay.” Hijikata gave a comforting smile to his Chief.

“Bahhh…Love is sure beautiful! I wish you all the happiness in the world, Toushi!!” More crying that resembled a waterfall by now.

“Please calm down Kondou-san…”

“Children, they grow up so fast!”

“SHUT UP ALREADY GORILLA!” Hijikata was standing now, breathing heavily as he was about to explode from impatience. Gintoki on the other hand, still sat in his place, looking bored, but mostly appalled by the spectacle of papa gorilla-san. These Shinsengumi dogs were so abnormally complicated.

“Yada, yada, yada. We get it, already. Now if you don’t mind, Oogushi-kun here and I want some private time so see ya later and don’t disturb us.” With that the samurai stood up and took hold of Hijikata’s wrist, proceeding to drag the man out of the Commander’s room, leading him through the hallways until they found themselves outside the Headquarters. All the while dragging a now less reluctant Vice-Commander and hearing distance shouts of a distressed Kondou mourning his son’s innocence.

“You can let go now, you know.” Hijikata’s voice was unusually indulgent, all symbols of anger having magically disappeared and it made Gintoki’s lips curl up into a smile. ‘This is gonna be so much fun!’ Gintoki’s eyes sparkled with mischief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as you might be able to tell reading this chapter, I’m having a bit of writer’s block and can’t find myself back to my old way of writing. Now to the progress of the plot, I thought I should maybe keep it a bit slow in the beginning because I think Hijikata is not a person that will go along someone he hates very straightforwardly. He is pretty stubborn and not good with people, since he has a short temper and the people around him aren’t really the best choice of friends, as bizarre as they are. Regarding him pretending to be in a relationship, I am reasoning his complications with the task to his history of possibly having had no girlfriend his whole life. Sure he loved Mitsuba but he was never in a bond with the woman. So, yeah, he’s going to have a lot to adjust to in my story and I really hope I can keep him in character, that is, if he was ever in character to begin with.   
> Last but not least, please read and review. Recommendations and critics are welcomed.


End file.
